Thankful for Being Thankful
2020 is almost over. In a normal year, we would use the time of thanksgiving to reunite with families - for laughs, for bad jokes, and for some overeating of turkey. But this year is different.
Personally, this year has been tough.
Earlier this year, my grandma, who had raised me and made me who I am, passed away due to late-stage liver cancer. Quickly by March, San Francisco Bay Area had its first lockdown - and I still remember how surreal it was to walk my dog during daytime with no one outside. Then the US-China relationship deteriorated further which put even more pressure on the work that I do. As the year progresses, the US experienced its second wave, along with the social unrest of racial injustice and the suffering of the millions who had lost their jobs.
That’s the 2020 that I know - probably the 2020 that everybody knows.
However, as dim as it might appear, 2020 is a year to be thankful for. As I look back, there are a lot of highlights that I will never forget. Here are the three that came to mind.
1.
I’m thankful that I can be thankful - that I’m still healthy; that throughout the year, I was still able to conduct meetings and conversations that are hopefully somewhat helpful to someone.
There is something to be said about zoom meetings, which strangely feel a bit more intimate as everybody has been doing them at home. I certainly feel a lot closer with many of my friends who I used to only hang out at coffee shops, restaurants, and sometimes offices - now we are talking in each other’s most comfortable environment, simply being who we are. As human beings.
2.
I’m thankful that I get to read and write more this year. 2020 is a year of learnings and reflections.
I’ve learned the importance to take a pause.
Ever since I started my career either as an entrepreneur or a VC, I’ve been used to fill my calendar with meetings.
A busy schedule to me was like sugar - short term addictive but long term deteriorating to health. And in this case, we are talking about mental health.
I’ve learned to pick up meditation, reading and writing all at once. And in some strange way, they are all connected. Reading is a form of meditation, so is writing, and dare I say, so is investing.
They all require a stable state of mind that can observe the presence, without noise, without drowning emotions.
I’m not there yet, but hopefully I’m getting better.
3.
I’m also thankful for the opportunity for a lot more solo camping trips this year. I’ve always love camping - and with social distancing in place and the WFH flexibility, I figured now is the perfect time to explore the wild, to gaze at the stars, and of course, to BBQ some meat!
Go explore I did.
In order to not miss calls, I had planned most of the getaway camping trips over the weekends. Sometimes if I have to, I will leave the zero-signal / wifi-unfriendly campsite early in the morning and then get to my 9 am call just in time. Thankfully, it had worked every single time.
Throughout the campings in this pandemic year, the memories of fresh air, the brightness of the milky way, and the smokiness of steak will always stick with me.
But the most memorable is the random strangers who I met along the way:
The friendly nods and hellos from other hikers on a lonely trail; The “we got places to explore” campground neighbor who offered me firewood when I arrived at a State Park in a dark and cold night; The 60-year-old man, wearing his cowboy hat in Northern California, helpfully pointed me to the nearest camping site when I failed to fetch any directions on my Google Maps.
(I ran out of food on the last day - hence my great invention of sausage on fork lol)
Through many drives and campfires, I felt like I had traveled back in time:
I had driven through miles and miles with no houses and people in sight but only cows and horses. I had stopped by towns where no credit cards are accepted (let alone Bitcoin!) and yet everyone seemed to genuinely care about their neighbors. By night time, the crackling sounds of the firewood make the evenings even quieter.
My 8-year-young Kindle turned out to be the best camping buddy:
From Thoreau’s “Public opinion is a weak tyrant compared with our own private opinion. What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate.” [1] to Pirsig’s “I feel happy to be here, and still a little sad to be here too. Sometimes it’s a little better to travel than to arrive.” [2]
I’m thankful that those are also part of my memories for 2020.
[1] Walden
[2] Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance